I cannot tell you how many times God has brought this question back to my heart over the past few weeks…”Whose Kingdom are you building?” over and over again this has been the million dollar question of the day….
From ministry messages I’ve heard, blogs I’ve read to conversations I’ve had with friends and loved ones…God seems to constantly be checking my heart and I figure it’s high time I listen….
May I just be transparent and come clean and admit that this one challenge from God has always been a hard pill to swallow…it is sometimes so difficult to separate myself from being the vessel and remember that it is God Who should shine and be glorified and not I….I mean, while I know this truth logically,in order for me to be fully effective for the Kingdom, it has to be my heart that “gets” it…Please, tell me that some of you can relate!!!???
Unfortunately, there is a word for what I struggle with…it’s called hypocrisy; which has the working definition of “to be seen by men”…ouch!!! Yes, that ugly word that Jesus was forever (and rightly) hurling at the Pharisees; He has recently, just as rightly, been hurling at me!!! In this instance, this has not so much been about my being prideful about the work God has placed before me to accomplish, but rather about “who” I’m doing it for….whoops…maybe that is pride….but I’m sure that’ll be a blog subject for another time….Oh dear….
When I was recently put on blast by a reader of some of my writings, I took a hit to my ego that I didn’t expect, but am glad nevertheless to have experienced because in that, God quickly started to admonish and redirect me about “why” my ego was attached to HIS work in the 1st place!!! He has since seared these words from Max Lucado’s book “Outlive Your Life” in my spirit…. “Jesus did not say, “Do not do good works.” Nor did he instruct, “Do not let your works be seen.” We must do good works, and some works such as benevolence and teaching, must be seen in order to have an impact. So let’s be clear. To do a good thing is a good thing. To do good to be seen is not…..” (1) And there it is…the root of my problem and why I’ve recently begun to grow weary in my service to the Father…I forgot who the accolades belong to….I forgot that if I am being obedient to God and no one notices (or if they do and blast me for it) that is fine because it never has been, nor ever was intended to be about me!!!!
I suspect that the battle to maintain the right perspective on this issue will be one that I will wage for the rest of my life…but every time that God brings it to my attention that my heart is headed in the direction of gratifying “self” and not Him…I hope to remember to pray the same words which John the Baptist spoke of Christ… “He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less.” (John 3:30 NLT)
So my friends, the next time you find yourself growing weary in your walk with and service for God, ask Him to search your heart so that you too may be sure that the weariness and heavy burden you find yourself carrying is not as a result of your attempting to own the glory that is meant for God alone….His glory is much too weighty for our feeble human frames to withstand…that’s why He never intended to share it with us to begin with….if we can but learn that our greatest satisfaction in life will come as we seek to make His name famous and further the cause of His Kingdom in the earth, we will then have truly found the keys to success and lasting fulfillment.
1. "Outlive Your Life: You Were Made to Make a Difference" Pg.92; Max Lucado; Thomas Nelson Press
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