This past week, I found myself struggling with what I'll call a "lapse in focus...." I forgot Who my sights were to be set on and for a few days, I felt as though I were in a complete tailspin and brainstorm....gratefully though, I have many in my life; who love me enough to "check" me when I stand in need....this past week I was absolutely in need....
I'm not quite sure how it all began...how do these things ever start? Perhaps it was something I heard that I received as a slight rather than constructive crticism....perhaps it was something that was done which I perceived to be an insult...whatever the case....I wound up all out of whack...with my focus off as well, and apparently, this is something I've practiced for quite a while now!!!
My husband is a man of few words...perhaps some of you can relate with that.... but whenever he does speak; what he says is usually filled with quite a bit of Godly wisdom and counsel; so, I'll often go to him and share my struggles with him just for that reason.... I must admit, that although he often puts a different "spin" on things; I also often don't have the good sense to appreciate that...even though I know he is most often "spot on" in what he says and in the solutions he offers....
Well on this particular day, I went to him and shared that I was feeling weary and misunderstood....not in the general sense, but as it related to a new area of ministry which God has called me to....to my chagrin, he responded immediately....with the kind of words I needed to hear, but did not necessarily those I WANTED to hear...he said... "You know, Babe...I listen to the way you speak and the things you say, and I gotta tell ya....you're good at "mentioning" the blessings God has brought into your life, but you're great at "fixating" on the negatives and what's wrong in your life....Maybe you should focus more on God and the blessings He's brought to you???..."
Can anyone say "OUCH!!!???" That phrase...."good at mentioning and great at fixating" stuck out at me like a very,very sore thumb!!! There was something very wrong about the order in which he had used "mention and fixate" in that sentence and his grammar was not where the problem lay..... I had to take a long, hard look in the proverbial mirror....I found myself walking away from him feeling a little "stung" but also seriously having to admit to myself...that he was correct in his assessment...
Then I began asking myself...."Could the solution really be that simple???" "Is what I'm feeling truly that wrapped up in what I'm fixating/focusing on???"
The next morning, God gave me the answers to my questions....I picked up and started leafing through our September issue of "In Touch Magazine" and I came upon an article written about Stephen, the church's first deacon, who was martyred for his faith in Christ. The article was based on how we as believer's in Christ can learn to excercise forgiveness by following Stephen's example. Not only was there a reminder for me in the article on the importance of forgiveness, but there was also a lesson for me in noticing where Stephen had kept his sights set during the terrible act that brought about his death....scripture tells us that as Stephen was being stoned to death, he gazed intently into heaven!!! Acts 7:55 says "Being full of the Holy Spirit, he gazed intently into heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God." (NIV)
Even as his enemies were putting him to death, Stephen knew where to fixate/focus his attention...he knew where to keep his gaze riveted....I asked myself how differently this account would have read had he focused on his enemies instead of God and Jesus...as I did, I heard my husband's words once again....later that same morning, I ran across a blog posting which had one of my favorite scripture references as it's basis..."Finally Brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworty-think about such things..." Phil. 4:8 (NIV) and in the instant that I read those words again for what seemed like the millionth time; confirmation came along with them anew; that also proved my focus had moved away from all of those things, but most importantly; that it had moved away from God; and as I pondered this fact, my precious hubby's words came back at me again...but this time...I heard them the way I want him to be able to say them to me should they ever come up again...."You know, Babe...you 're good at "mentioning" the negatives and what's wrong in your life, but you do a great job at "fixating" on God and the blessings He's brought into your life...."
Yes my friends, unlike Stephen, I had shifted my focus away from God and Jesus and allowed my sights to be set on other, very unwlecome, companions...like weariness and misunderstanding....this doesn't mean that I had somehow imagined my feelings....no, they were very real...rather, it simply means that we each have a choice about what things we'll focus on and what things we'll only mention in passing....How about you??? Who and what are at the bullseye of your sights??? Do you find yourself struggling with something today that perhaps a shift in your focus might solve??? If so, I leave you with these parting words... "Let us fix our eyes upon Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith..." Heb. 12: 2 A (NIV)
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